Almost thirty years since, her memories, her mannerism, and her simple but true love for me are all I remember. I think I was chronicle every moment with her if I have to. I love those memories, they are a very important part of me.
So even before I ever thought of marrying I have always wanted a little girl of my own. It used to be so high on my list of wishes, everything else came in second I think.
When I had my firstborn, I was so excited, thinking my dream is finally coming true. I had my older boy, I thought, well never mind, now that I am done and dusted with the pressure of having a boy. I can have a girl the next time.
It did not happen, so now that I am blessed with two boys. I think the next best thing I can do is teach them to be equal to girls.
A girl is always taught in our society that she has to have it all. If she wants to have a career, she has to be an excellent homemaker as well and has to have children as well. If not she's not complete. But is a man complete if he's just successful at his job? Will being an absentee son, father make him a complete man?
I recently overheard an aunty exclaim, "These girls are so spoilt that even when they go for a movie, it's the father who takes the children to the washroom, Can you imagine!" she went on "The mothers sit and enjoy the movie." Well!! I wanted to tell her its because, given the time and safety concerns, your 9-year-old grandson cannot be sent alone to a public washroom and nor can the selfish mother take him to the ladies room, is the reason the father, your poor son has to take his child to the washroom!!
Ever since I came to terms with not having girls of my own, a conscious decision has been to teach my boys to be equal to girls in every sphere. They have to know to pick up after themselves, to fix themselves their snack, and while enjoying their gadgets and video games, they have to know the importance to wind up after they are done. In short, inside the house or outside they have to know their way around the world just like girls their age do, so once they are older it is known that anybody can do anything and do away with these gender-defining terrains.
I thank my husband and mother-in-law for not putting up any sort of conversation to have it any other way. Not that it would have changed my mind on this decision, but just making it smoother and fewer people to explain myself to.
Till we realize that girls are capable but due to the entitlement boys are born to inherit, the girls have to keep proving themselves. It is the boys who have lost out on learning, knowing, and experiencing so many things in their lives. If they want to be equal to girls, it's time they too are taught about every sphere of life.
Here is hoping to raise a better human equal to the next in every sense of the word!!!
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