multitasking or multi-messing!!!

 multi-tasking or multi-messing!!!

The things we do in the name of multitasking amaze me sometimes. I mean as, if I had a penny for every time I have had breakfast, charged my phone, done my hair, fixed my face all in the 20 minutes before I reach the school gate in time for carpool duty, I should have a pretty neat sum piling up somewhere. I mean, we are all mothers, and we have all done some variation of that every opportunity we get.

I mean, if you were to only see my coffee table, with DIY- kits, sheet masks, pending paperwork, snacks, green tea bag, and what not after I put the kids to bed like I am going to conquer the night. We are all guilty of feeling guilty and secretly wanting to live up a little as mothers. Every evening I make my callbacks, think, procrastinate, plan the coming day, dinner, all in the 40 minutes I walk in the evening all the while supervising the boys as they cycle.

These days while trying to keep the kids away from gadgets, I am now known to be watching some show, some documentary, some home improvement show, anything, while cooking as I can't be doing it with the kids around. We are all mothers, we are all doing variations of it as we have to or things would all come tumbling down. Do you ever imagine yourself as the juggler you see in funfairs, with all these balls in the air, he does not start with so many. He has one then keeps adding, but as life moves on I feel every day is not a fresh start, we start each day with the balls we did not drop the previous day, and everyday we drop some and add some.

Even things meant for relaxation are fitted into tight schedules and multitasked, where more often than not there is no satisfaction in it other than just that it's done and dusted. The amount I want to pack in a day sometimes scares me, am I burning the candle both ways, but there is so much to do and you would not have it any other way and have to do it all, you let all the joy slide out of life.

Getting relaxing, me-time is first a fight to get there and then to be done with it. I thought of all this and more while planning the coming week schedules, menus, exam prep, meetings, and in between a voice just saying your walk time is for your to relax and unwind. Then back to did I turn in the younger ones' book week project, have to pack for the upcoming girls trip, schedule salon trip before that, friends birthday gifts, invitations to make, and invitations to decline.

In between all of that this realization was the tiny moment I thought that this multitasking is just multi-messing of everything I am doing. Not that there was anything I did or could do to stop or even slow down these racing thoughts running through my head.

Ah! carry a small diary and pen next time I go for a walk and write everything that comes to mind while walking, that should clear my head... what say, girls!!!

being that woman...

Every woman knows another woman, who at a certain point we want to refer to as nothing but "that woman". Some of us start early, teenagers may begin by using it for their moms or a strict teacher, or some girl they have some drama with. 

After few years when we reach work/ married life, we may have one, a few, or many of "that woman", in our lives. These women at the school stage especially like the mothers and the teachers generally mean well, but we could not care less at the point as we want to assert ourselves too. 

But in later life, these are usually the opposite the reason and cause of much of the drama in our lives. The colleague who hates your guts, the family member who loves to twist you in knots. 

Am I "that woman" to many people I know? I sure hope not, but know a few where I must be!! When I had my second boy many around me assured me, "don't worry, you will bring home two daughters." While others cautioned me, "no two girls, even two sisters are alike!" This chain of thought surprised me even more as it came from another woman, a very close friend, at that. Why was this notion specific to girls!! Surely no two boys are also alike! 

It's because the boys till now stayed put in mommies homes, it's the girls who have to move in with strangers and "adjust" to all the drama. I can sing all high notes about myself here, as to what an amazing giver I am as a human, which I like to believe is true! I try not to be judgmental of anyone no matter their doings. But if you cross me, well I have luckily been brought to make sure I cross you back, not by hook or crook, but with a reply nevertheless!

Is it wrong when others do it and not when you retaliate, no matter the reason? "That woman", has been the cause of many a misery for me through the years, but now I try to keep my sanity by just letting myself be. 

It has ended lots of unnecessary drama and believe me when I say initially it would bite me to try to take the high road, so as soon as I worked out the courage to be able to reply without losing it, I started with that, say your bit and get out.

Do I still lose it sometimes, yes sure, not applying for sainthood anywhere? But my personal well-being is most important to me is what I have realized over time.

May you be able to ignore the drama not needed and give back aptly where needed. Hoping you find the road you want to take for that growth!! Till then let "that woman" be just that and nothing else in your mind and life!!

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life in waiting...

Growing up we all have those dreams of traveling the world or conquering the world or doing something to that effect. But once college is done, life happens for most of us. First, we start by planning for the big things. A long holiday to your favorite destination, we make it the target but once we are near the target, something else comes up and we make do with a smaller lollipop, putting it off for another time. Till we reach a time when we are just putting off our entire life for another time, starting from the things you always thought as a child you would do once you grew up to the watch list on your Netflix!! Make smaller lists, so the sense of achievement remains someone suggested. It does help when I achieve the smaller things on my list like enjoy 20 minutes without kids, or start a series I have been meaning to watch or achieve a small target work-wise. But the other day when my kids discussed with me their list once the virus goes away, and my elder one noted we will also go to Paris for the summer like you have wanted to since you were small. At that moment it struck me, am I living my life and while the life I want to live is in waiting. When will I get there, will I get there at all. There are times in life when reality hits you hard. You take stock and try to direct it your way. Can we find a way to stay on track? We can't hold time, so should we just only live in the now? How does that work, with kids and a house and a husband and extended family and work commitments? The only thing, events from just before the pandemic and the pandemic itself have made me crave and seek out are things I want to do in life, will I have a content life... or am I heading for a life in waiting? #unofficialsarcasticmommy #COVID19 #indianmomblogger #beingmom #momlife #dontjudge #parenting #beingmom #badmom #prenager #boyswillbeboys #growingup #backtoschool #COVID19 #momlife #momsandkids #school #schoollife #feelitreelit #momlife #indianmomblogger #indianmoms #indianmomsbelike #indiankids #momandsongoals #momandsonmoments #momandsonmoments #girlpower #equality #mothersanddaughters #mothersandsons #wecan #wecare #RaiseTheBar #livingmybestlife #life #livingthedream #livinglife #dreams #wishlist blog spot https://unofficialsarcasticmommy.blogspot.com

Being you....

It is that time of the year again, where every company, every influencer, every marketer has one agenda to push their sales by telling women to be stronger, powerful, and equal.

When 364 days we are judged by someone or other, intentionally or unintentionally. Many times I have judged or been judged, I can see the eyes following me from the back of my head even.

This women's day be only one thing true to yourself, you don't have to be brave to be powerful or even mean to show you are relentless. Every human is different, so why must every woman be the same fighting warrior. If you are true to yourself, then you can never be weak or need uplifting, you will hold yourself much higher in your own eyes to think otherwise.

Being you for me means holding up my beliefs even if everyone around me does not agree. I don't have to feel the need to place anyone or have people conform to my ways. if I can agree to disagree with someone and not feel the need to hide or explain myself I am "being me"!

Only when we stopped trying to fit into the mold created for us did we move ahead and only then can we move further to an equal society. 

The only term we need to rid our minds for men is entitlement. No one should have the notion that they are entitled to anything. Create your space in your surroundings and the world. Society lets men be entitled and when a woman expects the same treatment she is being a diva, a spoilt brat!

How many times I have wanted to beat the sense into entitled mommies boys and papas betas, create your own identity, and don't think it's greater than or lesser than anybody. 

I may be sounding like some would say know it all, or Lil miss's opinion, I learned these things the hard way too!! But learning was important for knowing that I need to be confident and happy in who I am. 

So till the girl in the office, in the building, your society can do that for herself, do one thing let her be without judging her and seeing beyond the persona in front of you. 

In a world where you can be anything, please be kind!!

#womensday #bekind #beinghuman #dontjudge #beingme #friendshipgoals #friendsforever #friendsforlife #stayconnected #beingyou #stillyo #nevertoolate #always #marriage #marriedlife #healthylife #mindmatters #unofficialsarcasticmommy #COVID19 #momlife #momsandkids #school #schoollife #feelitreelit #momlife #indianmomblogger #indianmoms #indianmomsbelike #indiankids #momandsongoals #momandsonmoments #momandsonmoments #girlpower #equality #mothersanddaughters #mothersandsons #wecan #wecare #RaiseTheBar

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stay in touch!!

A few years ago once all of my friends starting getting married and relocating to different parts of the world, a very dear friend gave me very good advice from her initial martial wisdom. Which I held very closely as it was among the few things that resonated with me immediately to stay on with me for life.

She was telling me the pros and cons of moving to a new city after marriage, as I wanted to stay anywhere but here and it was that no matter where you get married make sure you keep meeting your old friends.

You will meet other women through your husband and his family, but continue to be in touch with people who you know from before. At that time even when I was not married and enjoying getting bored with the same people day in and out, I felt its important advice.

Now years later I keep thanking her mentally for it. Though I got married in the same city, initially I found it hard to continue to be in regular touch with my peeps. You enjoy the company of your sisters-in-law, both the brother's wife and the sisters and extended families, depending on how big the other side is. lol

But I made a conscious effort to continue to keep in touch with the friends still in the same city as me. They might not have been as close at the time, but now they are the constant, the sounding board, the advisors, the honest critics.

Sure if you are lucky you will meet a few gems once you enter mommyhood, who have journeys similar to yours, but more often than not there too you will meet, the competitive mom, the jealous mom, the judgey mom. Coz it is a part of being in this race called life, where everyone wants to overtake the person around them.

But the ones who know you as just you from any point of your life will be able to better give you a better perspective than anyone else.

So go have coffee, wine, spend a day window shopping, or shopping with your friends. I thank god for my sanity and reality checks to few such women and I hope that all women have that group no matter how big or small to fall back on.

Once the children are grown up or start getting busy in their lives you can go back to being the girl you once were, even for a little while. Enjoy being that goofy, silly, fun-loving girl you once were.

Go be the Monica to your Rachael or Pheobe!!! Happy bonding!!!

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save me I'm a mom of a pre-nager

Terrible twos, adolescent, puberty a mother's life is never as smooth. We are dealing with one meltdown after another.

Recently, my soon to be eleven years old had a temper tantrum he seems to have missed as an adolescent, in between sobs he tried explaining to me, "can't you understand leave me alone, I am not a child I am a pre-nager!!"

Well here I thought I had few good years coming my way before he became a teenager and the younger one was growing out of the temper tantrums.

Amazingly, he had a term for what he was having, otherwise, I wonder if I would have entered this time questioning my skills as a mother of having a cranky teenager before he even became one.

I asked my friends what to make of this, they tell me they are in the same boat and I think we are sinking before we get to this next destination of teenage.

So are we in transit?

I sure hope so or this is a crash course for things to come!

Life is a school, all through it as we get a little familiar, a little comfortable life moves us on to the next lesson. I have been homeschooling the boys like the rest of the world, and I have a newfound respect for the teaching world. 

As a rebellious teenager myself, I used to love the saying those who can't teach. I am left humbled after this one year at home and have to say only those who can teach, while the rest of us pray and wait for this pandemic to get over so we can send them back to their teachers and we can get back to running around after them in between our coffee catch-ups!!

Meanwhile, I struggle with the changes in the education system that have made our kids so smart and aware, while I can surely say like my mother before me must have, "in our times there was none of this and none of that!!!"

Happy parenting and enjoy homeschooling!!

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