multitasking or multi-messing!!!

 multi-tasking or multi-messing!!!

The things we do in the name of multitasking amaze me sometimes. I mean as, if I had a penny for every time I have had breakfast, charged my phone, done my hair, fixed my face all in the 20 minutes before I reach the school gate in time for carpool duty, I should have a pretty neat sum piling up somewhere. I mean, we are all mothers, and we have all done some variation of that every opportunity we get.

I mean, if you were to only see my coffee table, with DIY- kits, sheet masks, pending paperwork, snacks, green tea bag, and what not after I put the kids to bed like I am going to conquer the night. We are all guilty of feeling guilty and secretly wanting to live up a little as mothers. Every evening I make my callbacks, think, procrastinate, plan the coming day, dinner, all in the 40 minutes I walk in the evening all the while supervising the boys as they cycle.

These days while trying to keep the kids away from gadgets, I am now known to be watching some show, some documentary, some home improvement show, anything, while cooking as I can't be doing it with the kids around. We are all mothers, we are all doing variations of it as we have to or things would all come tumbling down. Do you ever imagine yourself as the juggler you see in funfairs, with all these balls in the air, he does not start with so many. He has one then keeps adding, but as life moves on I feel every day is not a fresh start, we start each day with the balls we did not drop the previous day, and everyday we drop some and add some.

Even things meant for relaxation are fitted into tight schedules and multitasked, where more often than not there is no satisfaction in it other than just that it's done and dusted. The amount I want to pack in a day sometimes scares me, am I burning the candle both ways, but there is so much to do and you would not have it any other way and have to do it all, you let all the joy slide out of life.

Getting relaxing, me-time is first a fight to get there and then to be done with it. I thought of all this and more while planning the coming week schedules, menus, exam prep, meetings, and in between a voice just saying your walk time is for your to relax and unwind. Then back to did I turn in the younger ones' book week project, have to pack for the upcoming girls trip, schedule salon trip before that, friends birthday gifts, invitations to make, and invitations to decline.

In between all of that this realization was the tiny moment I thought that this multitasking is just multi-messing of everything I am doing. Not that there was anything I did or could do to stop or even slow down these racing thoughts running through my head.

Ah! carry a small diary and pen next time I go for a walk and write everything that comes to mind while walking, that should clear my head... what say, girls!!!

when this is all over....

 

When this is all over is the top thing on anyone's mind these days... 

The hope in us to get to the other side of the pandemic is greater than ever. 

Where every family I know has someone or another struggling to fight this virus. We are hopeful and want to be positive and I that thinking ahead helps. 

Here are few things we must all do when all this over; the topmost on everyone's list should be to BE KIND. We will all be in some state of mourning, so let us agree to make kindness the new normal. 

Let us teach our children while they are home, to not pick on or let anyone pick on each other when they go back to school. No one should have to tell them of their loss to give them a break.

Let self-esteem not be an issue for anyone, with maybe the loss of a parent or a sibling, there would be enough on the plates. 

Let us make up our minds to not be snarky or judge anyone by their clothes, shoes, hairstyles, old bags, ill-fitting clothes, etc. 

Let appearances not be a thing, let mental well-being be more important than the physical one of the people around you. 

Let Happy be the most important thing. 

Most importantly let the new normal not include the vulgar display of wealth and rubbing it in people's faces be frowned upon or better still shunned. 

Many are losing family, friends, source of livelihood, they need all of the above and more.

Let firing people not be any industry norm when things open back up. 

Instead, set aside if you can to help someone with something every month. Maybe extra rations or stationary for your domestic help. Some fruits for the guard at your society gates. Clothes for the children of people working all around you. A shirt for your sweeper, a toy for that child walking with him in the heat, something anything. 

Let us make up our minds going forward to keep kindness, happiness, hope, and humility on our minds at all times, coz we all know we are going to need them too. 

Let us vow to give out what we want to receive back in return going forward... I am trying, will you???

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hope bubble in a gloomy world...

hope bubble in a gloomy world....

As we see the number of cases, tragedies, and the sheer amount of loss of life and families. You have to choose for your family to make a bubble where the children don't feel your stress and your elders don't get more anxious.

We think we have done it last year we can do it again. It's not that simple, and it's not the same. For starters last year was a year of firsts - online school, work from home, staying indoors, no summer holidays. But there was also hope in the children when this is over we will do this, go here, meet them.

When part-time physical school was to start from April term, I did not know who was happier, me or them!! But it all came crashing down too soon too fast!!

This new strain brings new questions, is this going to our life going forward? But it's a question for another time, why? I will tell you children are frustrated they are tired they are anxious. So are we, but we can do what they cannot. Let us try to make a bubble for them to live in. They are at home, but now it is our choice to make it a joyful place or a prison sentence.

On the day school was canceled once again my boys cried so hard it broke my heart to see how much they were looking forward to getting out of the house and on with their lives. Now that vacation has started, it has changed the mood a bit. But the gloominess was not going away.

So we made new plans for home, we don't enter the bedroom till its bedtime, we make lunch picnics on the balcony looking out at the world. Every day is different, I let them choose the agenda for the day and snack and dinner. It helps that my older one is into cooking, it's like therapy for him. One day they made a tent house out of old sheets like they do earlier but this time, we moved in there for the day.

So if you are blessed and lucky to not have anyone with covid at home currently and have children, try to live like them for them. It is not easy, I have extended family not keeping well, which breaks my heart to not be with them at this time. But they have care and are blessed to be in hands of able doctors and caretakers. But my children are in my hands and under my care.

They decide their day, their meals (I know to sneak in the healthy bits), their activities and I have to only play along. It makes them fell in control of something, these small decisions keep them distracted and settled for small bursts of time, till something reminds them of the outside world.

If you too have anxious children at home, try and create a bubble for them for the time being. It helps tremendously with your stress levels too. Do try it even if for a day if you can and let me know your thoughts...

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new kind of deja vu...

 Weeks and days on end of trying to tell people to be cautious, careful, and it is not over yet, seem to be coming true.

The new variant, the ever more rapid spread, the loss of human life. We cannot even ask where did we mess up. As I can tell you many, too many people were ignoring the masks, sanitizers, social distancing.

It's sad while we come back to our houses and coop us inside once more, the people who don't have the option are standing in queues at the hospitals, bus stands, railway stations.

It brings back the horrors of the last year back to us. But this time this is not deja vu, it's that old feeling with new horrors, as families are wiped out.

At this time of loss and grief, we must hold each other and comfort one another. The lines for an oxygen cylinder, the horror of black marketing at this time of essential life-saving medicines. We don't know whether to cry in pain or scream in shock. Why as a race we want to live for eternity, but do nothing about it. 

The pollution, the corruption, the lack of responsibility, it's all too enraging. But we forget, once the immediate crises are averted we forget. But this disease is not letting us forget, it is fighting back, for the first time in many of our adult lives we have seen something like this. The memes tell us, something that can kill you can be kept away by just washing your hands. It makes you wonder! It is like the game of chess and we are the novice players and this virus is emerging as the grandmaster. 

It's the rare occasions the novice emerges as the winner, beginners luck some would call it, but where this grandmaster of a virus is concerned we are being made the novice, and unless we can strike up that beginners luck, it is here to stay and very much take away years of precious life from us even if we don't catch it ourself.

So unless you want to make this the permanent new normal, the longing for leaving the house, the yearning of our children to go to school, even simple pleasures of meeting friends, to traveling the world, let us vow to follow rules till it's over for good.

I love to travel the world, see new places, meet new people, motherhood had put many destinations on hold, the regret of not doing it earlier is building, the sadness of it all is so heartbreaking, among many other things like the boys birthdays, little celebrations of life, big occasions all being put on hold. But life does not hold or stand still it keeps on moving.

Stay home and keep yourselves and your loved ones safe...

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life in waiting...

Growing up we all have those dreams of traveling the world or conquering the world or doing something to that effect. But once college is done, life happens for most of us. First, we start by planning for the big things. A long holiday to your favorite destination, we make it the target but once we are near the target, something else comes up and we make do with a smaller lollipop, putting it off for another time. Till we reach a time when we are just putting off our entire life for another time, starting from the things you always thought as a child you would do once you grew up to the watch list on your Netflix!! Make smaller lists, so the sense of achievement remains someone suggested. It does help when I achieve the smaller things on my list like enjoy 20 minutes without kids, or start a series I have been meaning to watch or achieve a small target work-wise. But the other day when my kids discussed with me their list once the virus goes away, and my elder one noted we will also go to Paris for the summer like you have wanted to since you were small. At that moment it struck me, am I living my life and while the life I want to live is in waiting. When will I get there, will I get there at all. There are times in life when reality hits you hard. You take stock and try to direct it your way. Can we find a way to stay on track? We can't hold time, so should we just only live in the now? How does that work, with kids and a house and a husband and extended family and work commitments? The only thing, events from just before the pandemic and the pandemic itself have made me crave and seek out are things I want to do in life, will I have a content life... or am I heading for a life in waiting? #unofficialsarcasticmommy #COVID19 #indianmomblogger #beingmom #momlife #dontjudge #parenting #beingmom #badmom #prenager #boyswillbeboys #growingup #backtoschool #COVID19 #momlife #momsandkids #school #schoollife #feelitreelit #momlife #indianmomblogger #indianmoms #indianmomsbelike #indiankids #momandsongoals #momandsonmoments #momandsonmoments #girlpower #equality #mothersanddaughters #mothersandsons #wecan #wecare #RaiseTheBar #livingmybestlife #life #livingthedream #livinglife #dreams #wishlist blog spot https://unofficialsarcasticmommy.blogspot.com

when you will have children... you will know!!

It a line I always heard growing up repeatedly, when you will have children... you will know!!

Can I say now I do!!

My mom would go to the extent to say, we are going to spoil your kids so silly, you will remember what kind of brat you were. I will not be bringing them to you I would promptly reply to her... sad it became true as she passed few months before my older one was born. 

Now that he's a pre-nager, I know what she meant, when she said I was being a brat!!! I mean there are nerves I did not know existed in my body that he manages to pull. The constant reminders to self, that came from friends is pick your battles, you can't be fighting them all.

Well is he's being a spoilt b**t all the time, I might as well be getting it out of my system all the time. The gut-wrenching irritation is so compelling and nothing seems to be working here. The reverse psychology, the counting to three's, the mental wait and watch, nothing. 

What works is to leave the situation alone, the things you want to be done don't get done, but your instinct to turn serial killer subsides. The world is their enemy, all I can say they are enemies of the state, the state being my house.

I sincerely hope it's the toll of covid and saying at home for a year, if not I can say I am doomed! I have to secretly build up my strength to go on for the battles I do choose to fight, like the homework, the remain hygienic coz no matter what they have been taught since birth, boys will not have their hygiene standards.

Hoping the world opens up real soon now, so I can get my sanity back by handing them to an institute for few hours every day. institute of learning or for my mental wellness, just please go back to school full time!!!

PS. the above may or may not be a work of fiction depends which side of the sympathy radar you are on. For all moms out there, now we know why we watch crime documentaries at night to unwind*, read it recently on a mom meme.

Or the worse part to this narrative is coming up, as my younger one has slowly but surely picking up the traits!!

#unofficialsarcasticmommy #dontjudge #parenting #beingmom #badmom #prenager #boyswillbeboys #growingup #backtoschool #COVID19 #momlife #momsandkids #school #schoollife #feelitreelit #momlife #indianmomblogger #indianmoms #indianmomsbelike #indiankids #momandsongoals #momandsonmoments #momandsonmoments #girlpower #equality #mothersanddaughters #mothersandsons #wecan #wecare #RaiseTheBar

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Being you....

It is that time of the year again, where every company, every influencer, every marketer has one agenda to push their sales by telling women to be stronger, powerful, and equal.

When 364 days we are judged by someone or other, intentionally or unintentionally. Many times I have judged or been judged, I can see the eyes following me from the back of my head even.

This women's day be only one thing true to yourself, you don't have to be brave to be powerful or even mean to show you are relentless. Every human is different, so why must every woman be the same fighting warrior. If you are true to yourself, then you can never be weak or need uplifting, you will hold yourself much higher in your own eyes to think otherwise.

Being you for me means holding up my beliefs even if everyone around me does not agree. I don't have to feel the need to place anyone or have people conform to my ways. if I can agree to disagree with someone and not feel the need to hide or explain myself I am "being me"!

Only when we stopped trying to fit into the mold created for us did we move ahead and only then can we move further to an equal society. 

The only term we need to rid our minds for men is entitlement. No one should have the notion that they are entitled to anything. Create your space in your surroundings and the world. Society lets men be entitled and when a woman expects the same treatment she is being a diva, a spoilt brat!

How many times I have wanted to beat the sense into entitled mommies boys and papas betas, create your own identity, and don't think it's greater than or lesser than anybody. 

I may be sounding like some would say know it all, or Lil miss's opinion, I learned these things the hard way too!! But learning was important for knowing that I need to be confident and happy in who I am. 

So till the girl in the office, in the building, your society can do that for herself, do one thing let her be without judging her and seeing beyond the persona in front of you. 

In a world where you can be anything, please be kind!!

#womensday #bekind #beinghuman #dontjudge #beingme #friendshipgoals #friendsforever #friendsforlife #stayconnected #beingyou #stillyo #nevertoolate #always #marriage #marriedlife #healthylife #mindmatters #unofficialsarcasticmommy #COVID19 #momlife #momsandkids #school #schoollife #feelitreelit #momlife #indianmomblogger #indianmoms #indianmomsbelike #indiankids #momandsongoals #momandsonmoments #momandsonmoments #girlpower #equality #mothersanddaughters #mothersandsons #wecan #wecare #RaiseTheBar

blog spot https://unofficialsarcasticmommy.blogspot.com 

stay in touch!!

A few years ago once all of my friends starting getting married and relocating to different parts of the world, a very dear friend gave me very good advice from her initial martial wisdom. Which I held very closely as it was among the few things that resonated with me immediately to stay on with me for life.

She was telling me the pros and cons of moving to a new city after marriage, as I wanted to stay anywhere but here and it was that no matter where you get married make sure you keep meeting your old friends.

You will meet other women through your husband and his family, but continue to be in touch with people who you know from before. At that time even when I was not married and enjoying getting bored with the same people day in and out, I felt its important advice.

Now years later I keep thanking her mentally for it. Though I got married in the same city, initially I found it hard to continue to be in regular touch with my peeps. You enjoy the company of your sisters-in-law, both the brother's wife and the sisters and extended families, depending on how big the other side is. lol

But I made a conscious effort to continue to keep in touch with the friends still in the same city as me. They might not have been as close at the time, but now they are the constant, the sounding board, the advisors, the honest critics.

Sure if you are lucky you will meet a few gems once you enter mommyhood, who have journeys similar to yours, but more often than not there too you will meet, the competitive mom, the jealous mom, the judgey mom. Coz it is a part of being in this race called life, where everyone wants to overtake the person around them.

But the ones who know you as just you from any point of your life will be able to better give you a better perspective than anyone else.

So go have coffee, wine, spend a day window shopping, or shopping with your friends. I thank god for my sanity and reality checks to few such women and I hope that all women have that group no matter how big or small to fall back on.

Once the children are grown up or start getting busy in their lives you can go back to being the girl you once were, even for a little while. Enjoy being that goofy, silly, fun-loving girl you once were.

Go be the Monica to your Rachael or Pheobe!!! Happy bonding!!!

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save me I'm a mom of a pre-nager

Terrible twos, adolescent, puberty a mother's life is never as smooth. We are dealing with one meltdown after another.

Recently, my soon to be eleven years old had a temper tantrum he seems to have missed as an adolescent, in between sobs he tried explaining to me, "can't you understand leave me alone, I am not a child I am a pre-nager!!"

Well here I thought I had few good years coming my way before he became a teenager and the younger one was growing out of the temper tantrums.

Amazingly, he had a term for what he was having, otherwise, I wonder if I would have entered this time questioning my skills as a mother of having a cranky teenager before he even became one.

I asked my friends what to make of this, they tell me they are in the same boat and I think we are sinking before we get to this next destination of teenage.

So are we in transit?

I sure hope so or this is a crash course for things to come!

Life is a school, all through it as we get a little familiar, a little comfortable life moves us on to the next lesson. I have been homeschooling the boys like the rest of the world, and I have a newfound respect for the teaching world. 

As a rebellious teenager myself, I used to love the saying those who can't teach. I am left humbled after this one year at home and have to say only those who can teach, while the rest of us pray and wait for this pandemic to get over so we can send them back to their teachers and we can get back to running around after them in between our coffee catch-ups!!

Meanwhile, I struggle with the changes in the education system that have made our kids so smart and aware, while I can surely say like my mother before me must have, "in our times there was none of this and none of that!!!"

Happy parenting and enjoy homeschooling!!

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My COVID Valentine!!

I was never into heart, hug, chocolate, teddy, desert, kiss, rose, and any or all other days. 

Not saying I did not accept the said items when I was at the receiving end. Over time these items came from the boys rather than the other half, for which even I think deep down the husband was finally relieved to be let off from. 

This year when we decided to finally step out after completing a year indoors, Valentine's Day became special for other reasons, the weekend was a beautiful and memorable one day for us after such a long time of being cooped up indoors. 

Meeting close friends and family after a year's gap was such a welcome change I can't begin to express the gratitude I felt for having these special people in my life. A lovely sunny day in the winter sun is a thing many of us love to be part of. 

The fun, sounds of laughter, and lovely smells filled the air and we soaked it all in. Even the boys went without their gadgets for over an hour and that's something, given they hated any other get together other than a birthday party where they would be getting back presents too, in pre-covid times. 

When the day came to a close, we had built some happy memories to get us by till the time, we figure out the logistical nightmare it has become to be able to socialize responsibly in these strained times. 

I would never want to be the cause of spreading this to any vulnerable person, I know the feeling of the sudden loss of a loved one. 

 So if you can I think stepping out and meeting your closest two to three families, is a great experience. Fortunately for us, they had all also recently tested positive for antibodies. 

Here is wishing all of you out there a safe secure and loved atmosphere both at home and outdoors, should you choose to step out. 

Just a few words of caution, stay safe everyone!! 

 #backtoschool #COVID19 #momlife #unofficialsarcasticmommy #momsandkids #school #schoollife #feelitreelit #momlife #indianmomblogger #indianmoms #indianmomsbelike #indiankids #momandsongoals #momandsonmoments 

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back to school....

back to school....

While I have been waiting like many other mommies to get the kids back to school... when I got the email saying they will be sending the schedule for schools re-opening, it was a scary news for me.

Just yesterday a mother had shared on the group about 200 school children getting COVID as soon as they went back to school! scary!!!

I have said many times I can't wait till they go back to school. But now that the moment has come I am not sure, how we will let it happen.

Is it safe!! How will things workout? How will we manage things the pick the drop? Many other questions fill my mind, will they be giving a snack in school? how will we manage to keep the stationary sanitized? The masks, which never seem to stay on the face!!!

A mothers worry never ends, we don't bring it upon ourselves I assure you, life as mothers does it for us. Meanwhile I walk into the boys room, and they have changed into their school uniform and getting ready for school!!! awww

love my crazy monkeys!!! Are you excited for back to school and your kids, am sure they too can't wait!!!

#backtoschool #COVID19 #momlife #unofficialsarcasticmommy #momsandkids #school #schoollife #feelitreelit #momlife #indianmomblogger #indianmoms #indianmomsbelike

#indiankids #momandsongoals #momandsonmoments

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