being that woman...

Every woman knows another woman, who at a certain point we want to refer to as nothing but "that woman". Some of us start early, teenagers may begin by using it for their moms or a strict teacher, or some girl they have some drama with. 

After few years when we reach work/ married life, we may have one, a few, or many of "that woman", in our lives. These women at the school stage especially like the mothers and the teachers generally mean well, but we could not care less at the point as we want to assert ourselves too. 

But in later life, these are usually the opposite the reason and cause of much of the drama in our lives. The colleague who hates your guts, the family member who loves to twist you in knots. 

Am I "that woman" to many people I know? I sure hope not, but know a few where I must be!! When I had my second boy many around me assured me, "don't worry, you will bring home two daughters." While others cautioned me, "no two girls, even two sisters are alike!" This chain of thought surprised me even more as it came from another woman, a very close friend, at that. Why was this notion specific to girls!! Surely no two boys are also alike! 

It's because the boys till now stayed put in mommies homes, it's the girls who have to move in with strangers and "adjust" to all the drama. I can sing all high notes about myself here, as to what an amazing giver I am as a human, which I like to believe is true! I try not to be judgmental of anyone no matter their doings. But if you cross me, well I have luckily been brought to make sure I cross you back, not by hook or crook, but with a reply nevertheless!

Is it wrong when others do it and not when you retaliate, no matter the reason? "That woman", has been the cause of many a misery for me through the years, but now I try to keep my sanity by just letting myself be. 

It has ended lots of unnecessary drama and believe me when I say initially it would bite me to try to take the high road, so as soon as I worked out the courage to be able to reply without losing it, I started with that, say your bit and get out.

Do I still lose it sometimes, yes sure, not applying for sainthood anywhere? But my personal well-being is most important to me is what I have realized over time.

May you be able to ignore the drama not needed and give back aptly where needed. Hoping you find the road you want to take for that growth!! Till then let "that woman" be just that and nothing else in your mind and life!!

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blog spot https://unofficialsarcasticmommy.blogspot.com

Being you....

It is that time of the year again, where every company, every influencer, every marketer has one agenda to push their sales by telling women to be stronger, powerful, and equal.

When 364 days we are judged by someone or other, intentionally or unintentionally. Many times I have judged or been judged, I can see the eyes following me from the back of my head even.

This women's day be only one thing true to yourself, you don't have to be brave to be powerful or even mean to show you are relentless. Every human is different, so why must every woman be the same fighting warrior. If you are true to yourself, then you can never be weak or need uplifting, you will hold yourself much higher in your own eyes to think otherwise.

Being you for me means holding up my beliefs even if everyone around me does not agree. I don't have to feel the need to place anyone or have people conform to my ways. if I can agree to disagree with someone and not feel the need to hide or explain myself I am "being me"!

Only when we stopped trying to fit into the mold created for us did we move ahead and only then can we move further to an equal society. 

The only term we need to rid our minds for men is entitlement. No one should have the notion that they are entitled to anything. Create your space in your surroundings and the world. Society lets men be entitled and when a woman expects the same treatment she is being a diva, a spoilt brat!

How many times I have wanted to beat the sense into entitled mommies boys and papas betas, create your own identity, and don't think it's greater than or lesser than anybody. 

I may be sounding like some would say know it all, or Lil miss's opinion, I learned these things the hard way too!! But learning was important for knowing that I need to be confident and happy in who I am. 

So till the girl in the office, in the building, your society can do that for herself, do one thing let her be without judging her and seeing beyond the persona in front of you. 

In a world where you can be anything, please be kind!!

#womensday #bekind #beinghuman #dontjudge #beingme #friendshipgoals #friendsforever #friendsforlife #stayconnected #beingyou #stillyo #nevertoolate #always #marriage #marriedlife #healthylife #mindmatters #unofficialsarcasticmommy #COVID19 #momlife #momsandkids #school #schoollife #feelitreelit #momlife #indianmomblogger #indianmoms #indianmomsbelike #indiankids #momandsongoals #momandsonmoments #momandsonmoments #girlpower #equality #mothersanddaughters #mothersandsons #wecan #wecare #RaiseTheBar

blog spot https://unofficialsarcasticmommy.blogspot.com 

stay in touch!!

A few years ago once all of my friends starting getting married and relocating to different parts of the world, a very dear friend gave me very good advice from her initial martial wisdom. Which I held very closely as it was among the few things that resonated with me immediately to stay on with me for life.

She was telling me the pros and cons of moving to a new city after marriage, as I wanted to stay anywhere but here and it was that no matter where you get married make sure you keep meeting your old friends.

You will meet other women through your husband and his family, but continue to be in touch with people who you know from before. At that time even when I was not married and enjoying getting bored with the same people day in and out, I felt its important advice.

Now years later I keep thanking her mentally for it. Though I got married in the same city, initially I found it hard to continue to be in regular touch with my peeps. You enjoy the company of your sisters-in-law, both the brother's wife and the sisters and extended families, depending on how big the other side is. lol

But I made a conscious effort to continue to keep in touch with the friends still in the same city as me. They might not have been as close at the time, but now they are the constant, the sounding board, the advisors, the honest critics.

Sure if you are lucky you will meet a few gems once you enter mommyhood, who have journeys similar to yours, but more often than not there too you will meet, the competitive mom, the jealous mom, the judgey mom. Coz it is a part of being in this race called life, where everyone wants to overtake the person around them.

But the ones who know you as just you from any point of your life will be able to better give you a better perspective than anyone else.

So go have coffee, wine, spend a day window shopping, or shopping with your friends. I thank god for my sanity and reality checks to few such women and I hope that all women have that group no matter how big or small to fall back on.

Once the children are grown up or start getting busy in their lives you can go back to being the girl you once were, even for a little while. Enjoy being that goofy, silly, fun-loving girl you once were.

Go be the Monica to your Rachael or Pheobe!!! Happy bonding!!!

#friendshipgoals #friendsforever #friendsforlife #stayconnected #beingyou #stillyo #nevertoolate #always #marriage #marriedlife #healthylife #mindmatters #unofficialsarcasticmommy #COVID19 #momlife #momsandkids #school #schoollife #feelitreelit #momlife #indianmomblogger #indianmoms #indianmomsbelike #indiankids #momandsongoals #momandsonmoments #momandsonmoments #girlpower #equality #mothersanddaughters #mothersandsons #wecan #wecare #RaiseTheBar

blog spot https://unofficialsarcasticmommy.blogspot.com

save me I'm a mom of a pre-nager

Terrible twos, adolescent, puberty a mother's life is never as smooth. We are dealing with one meltdown after another.

Recently, my soon to be eleven years old had a temper tantrum he seems to have missed as an adolescent, in between sobs he tried explaining to me, "can't you understand leave me alone, I am not a child I am a pre-nager!!"

Well here I thought I had few good years coming my way before he became a teenager and the younger one was growing out of the temper tantrums.

Amazingly, he had a term for what he was having, otherwise, I wonder if I would have entered this time questioning my skills as a mother of having a cranky teenager before he even became one.

I asked my friends what to make of this, they tell me they are in the same boat and I think we are sinking before we get to this next destination of teenage.

So are we in transit?

I sure hope so or this is a crash course for things to come!

Life is a school, all through it as we get a little familiar, a little comfortable life moves us on to the next lesson. I have been homeschooling the boys like the rest of the world, and I have a newfound respect for the teaching world. 

As a rebellious teenager myself, I used to love the saying those who can't teach. I am left humbled after this one year at home and have to say only those who can teach, while the rest of us pray and wait for this pandemic to get over so we can send them back to their teachers and we can get back to running around after them in between our coffee catch-ups!!

Meanwhile, I struggle with the changes in the education system that have made our kids so smart and aware, while I can surely say like my mother before me must have, "in our times there was none of this and none of that!!!"

Happy parenting and enjoy homeschooling!!

#backtoschool #COVID19 #momlife #unofficialsarcasticmommy #momsandkids #school #schoollife #feelitreelit #momlife #indianmomblogger #indianmoms #indianmomsbelike #indiankids #momandsongoals #momandsonmoments #momandsonmoments #girlpower #equality #mothersanddaughters #mothersandsons #wecan #wecare #RaiseTheBar

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